Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
