I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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