Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels

(1-603): View more from New Hampshire

Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know

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(323): View more from California

I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.

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(334): View more from Alabama

He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.

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(780): View more from Alberta, CA

I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.

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(530): View more from California

When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.

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(519): View more from Ontario

You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.

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(949): View more from California

I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases

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(480): View more from Arizona

Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night

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