omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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