Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I hate all girls vehemently.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
