But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I made him laugh his dick is mine
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
