Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
