"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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