Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
