it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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