I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
