I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
