Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Congratulations! We have a period
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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