Pregnant stripper...not hot.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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