I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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