Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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