Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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