I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
