I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
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