Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
