Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
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