at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
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