It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Randomize
