To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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