I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Randomize
