does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
