i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
