He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Randomize
