He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Randomize
