I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
