i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
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