how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
