420 ftw
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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