What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
i think i scared a bird with my dick
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
