ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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