her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Randomize
