After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Randomize
