It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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