It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
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