so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Just took my morning after pill in the library
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Randomize
