Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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