do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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