It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Randomize
