The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
