Are we in a gay sports bar?
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
