idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Randomize