since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
