Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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