I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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