I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Randomize
