literally had 100 drinks last night.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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